Running a small business is tough enough. But if you’re running a small business in a small town, there’s a secret you need to know… it’s more fun than being in the big city!
You don’t believe me? Well here’s the top 5 small town advantages …
1. You don’t need GPS Navigation
2. Out network is smaller, but we care about you and your business
3. No “rush hour” – only “rush moment”
4. Random encounters are good for business
5. People are helpful
If you recognized your small town in that list, then join us for more articles, tools, resources and more fun at Small Biz Survival, The Small Town, Small Business Resource
Cast: Becky McCray, Laurie Reyes, Jeanne Cole, Glenna Mae Hendricks, Jodell Durkee.
Music by Frenz, from Pod Safe Audio.
We can refine this now through May 2, 2008, so I would love your feedback! All I ask is you find something positive to say, along with suggestions, ideas, and criticisms. :)
UPDATE May 2008: Thanks for all your feedback! The contest is closed, and we got lots of positive comments. We didn’t win the prize, but we certainly had fun! Thanks for your support!
UPDATE May 2010: Utterz aka Utterli is no more. I’ve replaced the video with a copy posted at Blip.tv.
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Oh my god, you guys are so CUTE!!!!
Sorry, that might not be the most helpful, but…YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE!!!
I don’t even want to make a commercial. I just want yours to win.
Overall, it’s sweet and fun and I think the style fits the message–homey and small-town-y–so you don’t *need* to change a thing. If things are a little slow in the ol’ small town and you want to play…
1. Re-tape Becky’s part and change the line to “Running a small business is tough anywhere. But if you’re…(etc.) (Parallel construction is your friend!)
2. You may want to fiddle with cutting to title card that says “Top 5 reasons”. Not necessary, you’re understandable, just for variety and emphasis.
3. You may also want to play with sound. An old-timey needle scratch stopping the music when you lean in an say “It’s more fun.” Or change to some fun, upbeat music over the rest of the spot, for a real contrast. Maybe even go nuts with hiphop or something way out there. (In comedy, opposites are your friend.)
4. I kind of love that your friend says “People are helpful” and then just picks up the bag, even though there’s no one there. But someone who was dotting “i”s and crossing “t”s might say “have a ‘customer’ read the line, and the helper read the other line.” (Like I said, I like it the way it is–just pointing that out.)
Becky, this is such a great commercial! I really would say, just go with it as-is. But you asked, and you can’t ask a former copywriter and not get *some* comments. I’d feel like I wasn’t holding up my end.
Becky McCray says
Colleen, thank you so much! I appreciate every single kind word. And I will consider each idea. I’m so glad you took time to make such detailed suggestions.
See you at SOBCon! AND you better get your own commercial! I’m dying to see what you could do!!!
Corinne Edwards says
Dear Becky –
Liked some of Colleen’ suggestion.
But as a former TV person, I look at the video not the copy.
Loved the commercial. It was so real.
My suggestion would be to open with a shot of the town sign.
Like “Welcome to __________”
And if you should be so lucky – maybe a “You are leaving _______________?